Here's why statistics are dumb.
On Monday Night Raw, fans got to choose the name for the new combined title on the WWE app.
The choices were as follows:
Unified Champion -- 38%
Undisputed WWE Champion -- 31%
Undisputed World Champion -- 31%
Notice anything strange about these results?
Yeah! 62% of voters preferred the word "Undisputed" to "Unified". The discrepancy was only in the WWE/World designation, which skewed the count. This is why social media and desperation regarding interaction does not (sometimes) work.
More people liked the "undisputed" name because it's a historic belt that means something. Chris Jericho won the first ever Undisputed Title by beating The Rock and Steve Austin in one night! But the Unified Champion? Where's the prestige? The honour? The legacy? The name is meaningless.
It'll have to start from scratch!
The worst part (a bad part, anyway) is that the WWE just spent a ton of money and research developing a new WWE title. It's only a couple months old! Now we're meant to expect a new belt, and believe that Superstars will want to battle for it? The title means nothing -- except for that Cena or Orton won it ONCE!
At this point, the NXT title is more prestigious.
Speaking of which, I have an NXT title fight to watch.
If you'll excuse me...
Have a nice day, and don't be a jabroni!
Saturday 7 December 2013
Friday 29 November 2013
Looking Forward
So, Survivor Series...happened...
Honestly, it was pretty uneventful. Pretty much everything that was expected to happen, happened -- except for that Roman Reigns destroyed EVERYBODY!
Records in professional wrestling mean about as much as gold stars in kindergarten: they're nice little accolades you can earn, but you can't exactly put them on your resume. That said, Roman Reigns tied the record for most pins in a Survivor Series match ever -- with FOUR!
FOOOOOUR! </mexicansoccerannouncer>
Ahem....But enough about that.
Let's look forward to TLC, which is already looking pretty awesome.
As I predicted the day Cena was announced to fight Alberto Del Rio, Cena vs. Orton is now set for TLC, and it will be for both the WWE and World Heavyweight Championship. The rest of my prediction was that Orton would win that match, become the new "face of the company" (or whatever), and then Daniel Bryan would win it from him...buuut now Bryan is forming a tag team with CM Punk called The Beard and The Best.
That's the face of a champion!
So that should be amazing, too.
Punk and Bryan are two of the best Superstars today, and if they get some legitimate momentum going as a tag team, they could be champions for a long, long time. They're also feuding with both of the other big teams, the Wyatts and the Shield, so there's plenty of fuel here for the next few months. Bryan already had a huge tag team run with Kane (Team Hell No), so he's no stranger to those bronze belts.
The last thing I wanna mention is that Xavier Woods has come to RAW!
Congrats to the newest NXT grad!
He's brand new, so I'll forgive him coming in with his dorky dancing gimmick. I love the Over 9000 and Morphin' Time and all that -- I am a child of the 90s after all -- but these fun, goofy gimmicks often trap Superstars at the mid-card or jobber level. Just look at Brodus Clay and Fandango. Xavier even came out with The Funkadactyls.
A bad omen, perhaps?
Until next time, have a nice day and don't be a jabroni.
(Photos from wwe.com)
Honestly, it was pretty uneventful. Pretty much everything that was expected to happen, happened -- except for that Roman Reigns destroyed EVERYBODY!
Take that, Rey Mysterio!
FOOOOOUR! </mexicansoccerannouncer>
Ahem....But enough about that.
Let's look forward to TLC, which is already looking pretty awesome.
As I predicted the day Cena was announced to fight Alberto Del Rio, Cena vs. Orton is now set for TLC, and it will be for both the WWE and World Heavyweight Championship. The rest of my prediction was that Orton would win that match, become the new "face of the company" (or whatever), and then Daniel Bryan would win it from him...buuut now Bryan is forming a tag team with CM Punk called The Beard and The Best.
That's the face of a champion!
So that should be amazing, too.
Punk and Bryan are two of the best Superstars today, and if they get some legitimate momentum going as a tag team, they could be champions for a long, long time. They're also feuding with both of the other big teams, the Wyatts and the Shield, so there's plenty of fuel here for the next few months. Bryan already had a huge tag team run with Kane (Team Hell No), so he's no stranger to those bronze belts.
The last thing I wanna mention is that Xavier Woods has come to RAW!
Congrats to the newest NXT grad!
He's brand new, so I'll forgive him coming in with his dorky dancing gimmick. I love the Over 9000 and Morphin' Time and all that -- I am a child of the 90s after all -- but these fun, goofy gimmicks often trap Superstars at the mid-card or jobber level. Just look at Brodus Clay and Fandango. Xavier even came out with The Funkadactyls.
A bad omen, perhaps?
Until next time, have a nice day and don't be a jabroni.
(Photos from wwe.com)
Saturday 23 November 2013
Well, they teamed up.
It might not have been the big PPV-level match I was hoping for, but the Wyatts teamed up with the Shield. It happened this past RAW in the main event, a 12-man tag match.
(One big happy family)
As expected, the Wyatts and the Shield ended up bickering, unable to work together, and when they did work together, it was only in scrambled brawls. Sure, they tagged each other here and there (usually by smacking the other guy while he was distracted), but they didn't collaborate in any big double-team attacks, which is too bad. Half of them are giants and could easily perform any double-team move they imagined, so they should've taken advantage of the grouping.
(One of few moments the Wyatts and Shield were in-ring together)
The match was just okay. Luke Harper of the Wyatts delivered an awesome running sit-down powerbomb to Daniel Bryan, a move that could easily be Harper's second finisher. Unfortunately, the more spectacular attacks were performed by the "good guy group" of Punk, Bryan, the Rhodes Brothers & the Usos. The bad guys generally performed holds and did the whole "we're-gonna-trap-you-in-our-corner" thing. CM Punk's hot tag was pretty cool, though. He dismantled the Shield on his own, even delivering this sweet double-DDT/neckbreaker thingy on Rollins and Ambrose.
(Step 1: Fasten both heads beneath underarms)
(Step 2: Boom!)
Punk ended up pinning Ambrose, which is fine I guess. Punk could realistically defeat any member of the Shield, so at least it wasn't an Uso making Bray Wyatt tap out or something.
So the Wyatt/Shield experience was kind of lame, but they've got plenty of time to group, fight, or whatever. I'd like to think it was just another taste of what's to come. At this point I'm thinking a 3-on-3 fight is in the works, because after this I can't see them cooperating, but we'll see what happens in the coming weeks.
Anyway, right after the match, a brawl broke out and the Real Americans joined the fray.
Oh, and Rey Mysterio returned.
But I'll get into that some other time.
Until next time, have a nice day, and don't be a jabroni!
(Photos from wwe.com)
(One big happy family)
As expected, the Wyatts and the Shield ended up bickering, unable to work together, and when they did work together, it was only in scrambled brawls. Sure, they tagged each other here and there (usually by smacking the other guy while he was distracted), but they didn't collaborate in any big double-team attacks, which is too bad. Half of them are giants and could easily perform any double-team move they imagined, so they should've taken advantage of the grouping.
(One of few moments the Wyatts and Shield were in-ring together)
The match was just okay. Luke Harper of the Wyatts delivered an awesome running sit-down powerbomb to Daniel Bryan, a move that could easily be Harper's second finisher. Unfortunately, the more spectacular attacks were performed by the "good guy group" of Punk, Bryan, the Rhodes Brothers & the Usos. The bad guys generally performed holds and did the whole "we're-gonna-trap-you-in-our-corner" thing. CM Punk's hot tag was pretty cool, though. He dismantled the Shield on his own, even delivering this sweet double-DDT/neckbreaker thingy on Rollins and Ambrose.
(Step 1: Fasten both heads beneath underarms)
(Step 2: Boom!)
Punk ended up pinning Ambrose, which is fine I guess. Punk could realistically defeat any member of the Shield, so at least it wasn't an Uso making Bray Wyatt tap out or something.
So the Wyatt/Shield experience was kind of lame, but they've got plenty of time to group, fight, or whatever. I'd like to think it was just another taste of what's to come. At this point I'm thinking a 3-on-3 fight is in the works, because after this I can't see them cooperating, but we'll see what happens in the coming weeks.
Anyway, right after the match, a brawl broke out and the Real Americans joined the fray.
Oh, and Rey Mysterio returned.
But I'll get into that some other time.
Until next time, have a nice day, and don't be a jabroni!
(Photos from wwe.com)
Saturday 16 November 2013
W-what... What just happened?
Cena just told a joke, and I laughed at it.
Hm... That's never happened before.
Backstory: Watching last night's Smackdown on DVR. There is a man dressed as Superman in the crowd. John Cena points him out, and after some cheers, chants, and banter he says:
"...the only man who makes spandex look baggy."
Hah! He's skinny.
That is all.
Hm... That's never happened before.
Backstory: Watching last night's Smackdown on DVR. There is a man dressed as Superman in the crowd. John Cena points him out, and after some cheers, chants, and banter he says:
"...the only man who makes spandex look baggy."
Hah! He's skinny.
That is all.
Friday 15 November 2013
The Wyatts vs. The Shield
This week on Monday Night RAW, the Wyatts briefly brawled with the Shield.
And it was amazing. Sort of.
Whenever two of the biggest teams in WWE clash, it's (almost) always a fantastic bout, but this wasn't a match or anything. This was just a taste, like the bits of cookie crumbs the Wyatts probably find in their beards. It's unclear whether the Wyatts will in fact face the Shield in a match, but it's a possibility.
Here are three likely scenarios following the fallout of that fight:
1. The Wyatts vs. The Shield
Obviously this is one scenario. The problem is that the WWE doesn't like to have bad guys fighting other bad guys. One team needs to be made up of heroes, and the other villains. The Shield could possibly become heroes, given their, um...appeal...but it would take some doing. The Shield have been major villains for about a year now, and I can't help but think they'd split up after a face turn. They're too young a team for me to recommend they split, but the Nexus were together for about this long when they broke apart, so it could happen.
2. Wyatts & Shield vs. Punk and Bryan, Cody and Goldust, and the Usos.
Partway through the fight between The Wyatts and The Shield, they attacked CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, and the other four Superstars hopped in. Thus it was 6 villains vs. 6 heroes. The Survivor Series pay-per-view is coming up, and every year there's a huge 5-on-5 match there -- but that's the thing. It's a 5-on-5 match, not a 6-on-6. Maybe Bray Wyatt will sit out the match in his rocking chair, or one of the Usos will be injured, or Dean Ambrose will be involved in a US Title match instead. Whatever the case, something needs to happen to whittle the numbers down. Unless it IS a 6-on-6 match this year. Who knows.
3. Nothing
It's also possible The Wyatts vs. The Shield was only a teaser after all. They may never actually fight each other or fight together in any meaningful way. That would be a shame. Just a year ago, all six of these guys were on NXT, and now they're sparking massive brawls to end main events. I want to see these two teams FIGHT, but there's some fear in the back of my mind that says I may never get to see it.
I'll be sure to write an angry blog about it if that happens.
Until next time, have a nice day, and don't be a jabroni.
(Photos from wwe.com)
And it was amazing. Sort of.
Whenever two of the biggest teams in WWE clash, it's (almost) always a fantastic bout, but this wasn't a match or anything. This was just a taste, like the bits of cookie crumbs the Wyatts probably find in their beards. It's unclear whether the Wyatts will in fact face the Shield in a match, but it's a possibility.
Here are three likely scenarios following the fallout of that fight:
1. The Wyatts vs. The Shield
Obviously this is one scenario. The problem is that the WWE doesn't like to have bad guys fighting other bad guys. One team needs to be made up of heroes, and the other villains. The Shield could possibly become heroes, given their, um...appeal...but it would take some doing. The Shield have been major villains for about a year now, and I can't help but think they'd split up after a face turn. They're too young a team for me to recommend they split, but the Nexus were together for about this long when they broke apart, so it could happen.
2. Wyatts & Shield vs. Punk and Bryan, Cody and Goldust, and the Usos.
Partway through the fight between The Wyatts and The Shield, they attacked CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, and the other four Superstars hopped in. Thus it was 6 villains vs. 6 heroes. The Survivor Series pay-per-view is coming up, and every year there's a huge 5-on-5 match there -- but that's the thing. It's a 5-on-5 match, not a 6-on-6. Maybe Bray Wyatt will sit out the match in his rocking chair, or one of the Usos will be injured, or Dean Ambrose will be involved in a US Title match instead. Whatever the case, something needs to happen to whittle the numbers down. Unless it IS a 6-on-6 match this year. Who knows.
3. Nothing
It's also possible The Wyatts vs. The Shield was only a teaser after all. They may never actually fight each other or fight together in any meaningful way. That would be a shame. Just a year ago, all six of these guys were on NXT, and now they're sparking massive brawls to end main events. I want to see these two teams FIGHT, but there's some fear in the back of my mind that says I may never get to see it.
I'll be sure to write an angry blog about it if that happens.
Until next time, have a nice day, and don't be a jabroni.
(Photos from wwe.com)
Tuesday 5 November 2013
The Stable Grows
So, last Monday night on RAW, this happened:
Yepp. Kane, in a suit and tie, officially joined the group tentatively called The Authority. He joins Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, WWE Champion Randy Orton and The Shield, making him the 7th member of the dominant stable. I'm guessing Kane, The Shield and one other Superstar will form a corporate team for the annual 5 on 5 Survivor Series match coming up -- but let's focus on Kane's look for now.
Kane has always had a "fire and brimstone" gimmick. He's always been a monster, and even when he was spoofing himself or playing in the buddy comedy that was Kane & Daniel Bryan, he has always been a demonic character. First he never spoke, then he started talking, then he took his mask off and started talking a lot, then he put the mask back on...but now he's a completely different beast.
He came out to the same entrance music on Monday, with the fire and everything, which didn't fit his new look at all, but he definitely had a different attitude about him, a different gait or something. This marks the biggest change Kane has made in his career. I don't know if they'll also change his entrance theme, but they should. Characters go through transformations, and this could really work for Kane.
He still looks intimidating, and we know he can still do some damage in the ring. This new Kane will succeed or fail based on his "marketing" and his promos, which could really go anywhere at this point.
We'll always have this monstrous incarnation of Kane:
But I for one am excited by his drastic transformation, and I can't wait to see where it goes.
Respect The Authority!
Until next time, have a nice day, and don't be a jabroni.
(Photos from wwe.com)
Yepp. Kane, in a suit and tie, officially joined the group tentatively called The Authority. He joins Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, WWE Champion Randy Orton and The Shield, making him the 7th member of the dominant stable. I'm guessing Kane, The Shield and one other Superstar will form a corporate team for the annual 5 on 5 Survivor Series match coming up -- but let's focus on Kane's look for now.
Kane has always had a "fire and brimstone" gimmick. He's always been a monster, and even when he was spoofing himself or playing in the buddy comedy that was Kane & Daniel Bryan, he has always been a demonic character. First he never spoke, then he started talking, then he took his mask off and started talking a lot, then he put the mask back on...but now he's a completely different beast.
He came out to the same entrance music on Monday, with the fire and everything, which didn't fit his new look at all, but he definitely had a different attitude about him, a different gait or something. This marks the biggest change Kane has made in his career. I don't know if they'll also change his entrance theme, but they should. Characters go through transformations, and this could really work for Kane.
He still looks intimidating, and we know he can still do some damage in the ring. This new Kane will succeed or fail based on his "marketing" and his promos, which could really go anywhere at this point.
We'll always have this monstrous incarnation of Kane:
But I for one am excited by his drastic transformation, and I can't wait to see where it goes.
Respect The Authority!
Until next time, have a nice day, and don't be a jabroni.
(Photos from wwe.com)
Wednesday 30 October 2013
"Yes! No!"
For this new format, I'll cover what I loved and hated about a particular story or moment.
The first subject of "Yes! No!"?
No!
Damien Sandow isn't John Cena. That's obvious, but what do I mean by that? Well, when Cena cashed in his contract and lost his title match to CM Punk, he was perfectly fine afterward because John Cena is John Cena. No matter who he loses to, or how, he'll always get title shots, main event matches and championships. But Damien Sandow, not being John Cena, doesn't have that luxury. He just lost what might be his only title opportunity for a very long time.
Yes!
Although Sandow lost, he had a terrific match with Cena, showcasing his talent and proving why he's main event material. While he's not a main event guy right now, he certainly could be, and probably will be, in the not-too-distant-(I-hope) future.
No!
Unfortunately, even though Cena just came back from elbow surgery, just fought at Hell in a Cell, and was brutally attacked by Sandow just before their match, Sandow still lost! I understand that this was meant to make Cena look like a superhero -- and in fact the announcers referred to him as Superman about five times during the match -- it also made Sandow look pathetic. It made Sandow look like he could never beat John Cena. Hopefully Cena is the first person Sandow beats when he finally gets the push he deserves.
Yes!
Cena can bring credibility back to the World Heavyweight Championship. Because he now seems like a superhero, and because John Cena is John Cena, he can take what is considered a secondary belt and make it relevant again. As much as I like Sandow as a wrestler, he could never do for the World Heavyweight Championship what Cena can do today. I don't like Cena as a wrestler, comedian, performer or entertainer of any sort, but with the right feuds, writing and #1 contenders, this could be the best thing to happen to the World Heavyweight Championship in years.
The first subject of "Yes! No!"?
Damien Sandow vs. John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship
This past Monday on RAW, Sandow cashed in his Money in the Bank contract, opening the show with a title match against John Cena. Cena won, making Sandow only the second person to cash in Money in the Bank and lose -- the other person being Cena himself. My thoughts?No!
Damien Sandow isn't John Cena. That's obvious, but what do I mean by that? Well, when Cena cashed in his contract and lost his title match to CM Punk, he was perfectly fine afterward because John Cena is John Cena. No matter who he loses to, or how, he'll always get title shots, main event matches and championships. But Damien Sandow, not being John Cena, doesn't have that luxury. He just lost what might be his only title opportunity for a very long time.
Yes!
Although Sandow lost, he had a terrific match with Cena, showcasing his talent and proving why he's main event material. While he's not a main event guy right now, he certainly could be, and probably will be, in the not-too-distant-(I-hope) future.
No!
Unfortunately, even though Cena just came back from elbow surgery, just fought at Hell in a Cell, and was brutally attacked by Sandow just before their match, Sandow still lost! I understand that this was meant to make Cena look like a superhero -- and in fact the announcers referred to him as Superman about five times during the match -- it also made Sandow look pathetic. It made Sandow look like he could never beat John Cena. Hopefully Cena is the first person Sandow beats when he finally gets the push he deserves.
Yes!
Cena can bring credibility back to the World Heavyweight Championship. Because he now seems like a superhero, and because John Cena is John Cena, he can take what is considered a secondary belt and make it relevant again. As much as I like Sandow as a wrestler, he could never do for the World Heavyweight Championship what Cena can do today. I don't like Cena as a wrestler, comedian, performer or entertainer of any sort, but with the right feuds, writing and #1 contenders, this could be the best thing to happen to the World Heavyweight Championship in years.
Thursday 24 October 2013
Another Pay-Per-View?
The Hell in a Cell PPV is this Sunday, so let's look at the three Hell in a Cell matches.
Match #1: CM Punk vs. Ryback and Paul Heyman
Here we've got a handicap match. For some reason, despite Heyman frequently interfering in Punk's past matches with Ryback and costing him many victories, Punk actually wants to face him and Ryback at the same time.
...Makes sense to me.
For Battleground I predicted that Ryback would win, and I'm doing so again -- even though he lost last time. If Ryback, who's supposed to be this monstrous bodyguard, not only fails to protect Heyman but loses again, he'll be buried and his stock will plummet. He needs this victory, especially considering the match type.
Winner: Ryback
Match #2: Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena
I kind of talked about this in my last post, so I'll keep it brief. I fully expect Cena to win this one. WWE has promoted the hell out of Cena for the last week or so, and while I'll be pleasantly shocked if ADR is still champion after Sunday, all roads are leading toward Cena vs. Orton.
Winner: John Cena
Match #3: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan w/Special Guest Referee Shawn Michaels
As I said, all roads are leading toward Cena vs. Orton. So, here's my far-reaching prediction:
Cena and Orton become World Heavyweight Champion and WWE Champion (thanks to Shawn Michaels screwing Daniel Bryan). Cena and Orton fight to decide who is the real face of the WWE, and who is the Undisputed WWE Champion. Orton defeats Cena. Daniel Bryan defeats Orton.
This just makes sense! Daniel Bryan is carrying the most hype in the WWE right now, and he's positioned for a huge title run. This Hell in a Cell match is only setting up something much bigger, something that could alter the WWE for the rest of 2013 and through to Wrestlemania.
Winner: Randy Orton. Phase 1 Complete...
Match #1: CM Punk vs. Ryback and Paul Heyman
Here we've got a handicap match. For some reason, despite Heyman frequently interfering in Punk's past matches with Ryback and costing him many victories, Punk actually wants to face him and Ryback at the same time.
...Makes sense to me.
For Battleground I predicted that Ryback would win, and I'm doing so again -- even though he lost last time. If Ryback, who's supposed to be this monstrous bodyguard, not only fails to protect Heyman but loses again, he'll be buried and his stock will plummet. He needs this victory, especially considering the match type.
Winner: Ryback
Match #2: Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena
I kind of talked about this in my last post, so I'll keep it brief. I fully expect Cena to win this one. WWE has promoted the hell out of Cena for the last week or so, and while I'll be pleasantly shocked if ADR is still champion after Sunday, all roads are leading toward Cena vs. Orton.
Winner: John Cena
Match #3: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan w/Special Guest Referee Shawn Michaels
As I said, all roads are leading toward Cena vs. Orton. So, here's my far-reaching prediction:
Cena and Orton become World Heavyweight Champion and WWE Champion (thanks to Shawn Michaels screwing Daniel Bryan). Cena and Orton fight to decide who is the real face of the WWE, and who is the Undisputed WWE Champion. Orton defeats Cena. Daniel Bryan defeats Orton.
This just makes sense! Daniel Bryan is carrying the most hype in the WWE right now, and he's positioned for a huge title run. This Hell in a Cell match is only setting up something much bigger, something that could alter the WWE for the rest of 2013 and through to Wrestlemania.
Winner: Randy Orton. Phase 1 Complete...
Friday 18 October 2013
Top 3 New Gimmicks
#3 - The Real Americans
Patriotism isn't new to the WWE. Hulk Hogan's theme song actually claims, repeatedly, "I am a real American!" But the Real Americans have made themselves a relevant team by tackling relevant social issues, such as anti-immigration, prejudice and bigotry. In this PG-era of professional wrestling, these xenophobic zealots aren't afraid to exercise their First Amendment right, and while their words may offend some viewers, they are undeniably talented. Those who recognize that talent continue to place their hands over their hearts and say with them in a loud, clear voice: "We the people!"
#2 - Los Matadores
Primo and Epico were decent wrestlers with an awful gimmick, but when they "debuted" in late September as flamboyant bullfighters, their stock instantly skyrocketed. Los Matadores is a perfect example of how the right gimmick can make boring wrestlers entertaining. Even as Tag Team Champions, Primo and Epico weren't generating any hype, but as Diego and Fernando, they suddenly appear amazing. With new moves, a new look and a masked mascot (El Torito, a little person in a bull costume), Los Matadores are primed to make an epic impact in the Tag Team Division.
#1 - The Wyatt Family
Another tag team. Noticing a pattern? For years the Tag Team Division in the WWE was terrible, but out of nowhere teams have emerged to revitalize it. Here's another great example of a gimmick reviving a stale superstar. The leader of this backwoods hillbilly cult, Bray Wyatt, was the forgettable Husky Harris not too long ago. And now look at him: he's making a rocking chair look intimidating. Fresh out of NXT, the Wyatt Family has only been on Raw and Smackdown for a few months, but with the proper timing they could instantly rise to become the biggest tag team in the business - literally. I for one am excited for their future in the WWE.
Until next time, have a nice day, and don't be a jabroni.
(Photos: bleacherreport.com, wwe.com)
Friday 11 October 2013
Cena returns at Hell in a Cell PPV
There are some major Superstars injured in the WWE, one of them being John Cena.
John Cena, arguably the most popular and polarizing Superstar in the business, was sidelined due to elbow surgery about two months ago. He was supposed to be out for 4-6 months -- but Cena likes to fight hurt, and rise above hate, and never give up, and all that crap, so he's returning earlier than he should. And by that I mean he shouldn't come back.
Since Cena left, I haven't missed him for a single minute. The events are just as good without him, if not better, and I fear that when he comes back, deserving guys who are getting pushes will be pushed aside. There are a lot of up-and-coming wrestlers who need more air time, and Cena generally takes up at least 30 minutes of every Monday Night RAW he's on. That's 1/6 of the show.
Now, I'd be fine if Cena helped push some younger guys up the ladder. Ryback and Curtis Axel are benefiting greatly from feuding with CM Punk, and Cena works best when he's giving legitimacy to new Superstars. Cena needs to feud with guys like Ryback (which he has before) and stay out of the title picture. Unfortunately, when Cena returns at Hell in a Cell, he'll be doing so against Alberto Del Rio for the World Heavyweight Championship. All I have to say about that is: Nooooooooooo!
I'm sure there are people who miss Cena and can't wait for him to return, but I'm not one of them. I'll be happy if Cena sticks to helping rising stars...rise...but I'm sick of seeing him with gold around his waist. And if CM Punk doesn't need a championship belt to be relevant, neither should John Cena.
Until next time, have a nice day, and don't be a jabroni.
John Cena, arguably the most popular and polarizing Superstar in the business, was sidelined due to elbow surgery about two months ago. He was supposed to be out for 4-6 months -- but Cena likes to fight hurt, and rise above hate, and never give up, and all that crap, so he's returning earlier than he should. And by that I mean he shouldn't come back.
Since Cena left, I haven't missed him for a single minute. The events are just as good without him, if not better, and I fear that when he comes back, deserving guys who are getting pushes will be pushed aside. There are a lot of up-and-coming wrestlers who need more air time, and Cena generally takes up at least 30 minutes of every Monday Night RAW he's on. That's 1/6 of the show.
Now, I'd be fine if Cena helped push some younger guys up the ladder. Ryback and Curtis Axel are benefiting greatly from feuding with CM Punk, and Cena works best when he's giving legitimacy to new Superstars. Cena needs to feud with guys like Ryback (which he has before) and stay out of the title picture. Unfortunately, when Cena returns at Hell in a Cell, he'll be doing so against Alberto Del Rio for the World Heavyweight Championship. All I have to say about that is: Nooooooooooo!
I'm sure there are people who miss Cena and can't wait for him to return, but I'm not one of them. I'll be happy if Cena sticks to helping rising stars...rise...but I'm sick of seeing him with gold around his waist. And if CM Punk doesn't need a championship belt to be relevant, neither should John Cena.
Until next time, have a nice day, and don't be a jabroni.
Friday 4 October 2013
Battleground!
Battleground is a new WWE pay-per-view debuting this Sunday night.
Most WWE PPVs have themes.
TLC has Table, Ladder and Chair matches. Royal Rumble has the Royal Rumble. Night of Champions has championship matches for every belt. Battleground has...matches? It's kind of unclear what exactly the theme is for this one. There is a "Battleground Hardcore Rules Match", whatever that means, but it seems to be the same as every other No DQ match. They like to give No DQ matches fancy names -- Chicago Street Fight, No Holds Barred, Extreme Rules -- but they're all the same match, with the same rules, with the same weapons. So if that's the draw of this PPV...it's kind of lame, but there are some noteworthy matches, despite the short lead up to this one.
Like with Night of Champions, I'll look at three matches and make my predictions
Match 1: Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins
As I may have mentioned in an earlier post, Cody Rhodes was on his honeymoo--I mean, was fired, and here we have his return. If Cody and his brother Dustin defeat the two Shield members, they'll get their jobs back! I have to think Cody will be rehired -- but I think Goldust will stay retired after this. SoTeam Rhodes will win, but the Shield, being sore losers, will promptly injure Goldust. This will give Cody incentive to continue his feud with the Shield (perhaps taking the US Title from Dean Ambrose?) and allow Dustin to go back to his couch back in...wherever it is he lives exactly.
Winners: Cody Rhodes and Goldust
Match 2: CM Punk vs. Ryback
Another non-title match. This feud is basically pointless, since the "Heyman Guy" stable just formed, Ryback will likely start having tag match with Curtis Axel, and this Punk/Heyman story isn't over just yet -- but CM Punk is involved, so it'll probably be a great match. Ryback isn't the best wrestling in the world, but he'll be able to do what he does, and Punk will be able to sell whatever semi-power moves Ryback will be performing. Ryback will squander what little momentum he has going into this if he loses cleanly to Punk, so I expect Ryback will cheat, win, claim Punk is a bully and hug Paul Heyman or something, but this whole thing just seems like a scheme to sell Battleground.
This feud will continue.
Winner: Ryback (Pictured above. I'd post another pic of him, but they all look the same.)
See?
Match 3: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan
Last PPV, the Orton/Bryan match had a twist ending that I doubt this PPV will match, but as usual, these two should put on an awesome...match. Anyway, I'm liking Daniel Bryan in this one, but he probably won't hold the title for long. Orton has recently been terrorizing Bryan's fiance, Brie Bella (perhaps the next Divas' Champion?), and Orton has started going back to his twisted, sadistic roots. I expect Bryan will win, Orton will be pushed over the edge, and he'll begin to stalk Brie, ambush Bryan, and generally make their lives hell -- which I really want to see. There hasn't been a similar storyline for a while now, and I'm interested to see where they'll take this real-life romantic relationship and apply it to the show. Whatever they have planned for this ongoing feud, I have the feeling it's going to be damn good.
Winner: Daniel Bryan
---
Photos: wwebulletin.blogspot.com, smackdown-wwe-wrestling.blogspot.com, whattalking.com, bleacherreport.net
Most WWE PPVs have themes.
TLC has Table, Ladder and Chair matches. Royal Rumble has the Royal Rumble. Night of Champions has championship matches for every belt. Battleground has...matches? It's kind of unclear what exactly the theme is for this one. There is a "Battleground Hardcore Rules Match", whatever that means, but it seems to be the same as every other No DQ match. They like to give No DQ matches fancy names -- Chicago Street Fight, No Holds Barred, Extreme Rules -- but they're all the same match, with the same rules, with the same weapons. So if that's the draw of this PPV...it's kind of lame, but there are some noteworthy matches, despite the short lead up to this one.
Like with Night of Champions, I'll look at three matches and make my predictions
Match 1: Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins
As I may have mentioned in an earlier post, Cody Rhodes was on his honeymoo--I mean, was fired, and here we have his return. If Cody and his brother Dustin defeat the two Shield members, they'll get their jobs back! I have to think Cody will be rehired -- but I think Goldust will stay retired after this. SoTeam Rhodes will win, but the Shield, being sore losers, will promptly injure Goldust. This will give Cody incentive to continue his feud with the Shield (perhaps taking the US Title from Dean Ambrose?) and allow Dustin to go back to his couch back in...wherever it is he lives exactly.
Winners: Cody Rhodes and Goldust
Match 2: CM Punk vs. Ryback
Another non-title match. This feud is basically pointless, since the "Heyman Guy" stable just formed, Ryback will likely start having tag match with Curtis Axel, and this Punk/Heyman story isn't over just yet -- but CM Punk is involved, so it'll probably be a great match. Ryback isn't the best wrestling in the world, but he'll be able to do what he does, and Punk will be able to sell whatever semi-power moves Ryback will be performing. Ryback will squander what little momentum he has going into this if he loses cleanly to Punk, so I expect Ryback will cheat, win, claim Punk is a bully and hug Paul Heyman or something, but this whole thing just seems like a scheme to sell Battleground.
This feud will continue.
Winner: Ryback (Pictured above. I'd post another pic of him, but they all look the same.)
See?
Match 3: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan
Last PPV, the Orton/Bryan match had a twist ending that I doubt this PPV will match, but as usual, these two should put on an awesome...match. Anyway, I'm liking Daniel Bryan in this one, but he probably won't hold the title for long. Orton has recently been terrorizing Bryan's fiance, Brie Bella (perhaps the next Divas' Champion?), and Orton has started going back to his twisted, sadistic roots. I expect Bryan will win, Orton will be pushed over the edge, and he'll begin to stalk Brie, ambush Bryan, and generally make their lives hell -- which I really want to see. There hasn't been a similar storyline for a while now, and I'm interested to see where they'll take this real-life romantic relationship and apply it to the show. Whatever they have planned for this ongoing feud, I have the feeling it's going to be damn good.
Winner: Daniel Bryan
---
Photos: wwebulletin.blogspot.com, smackdown-wwe-wrestling.blogspot.com, whattalking.com, bleacherreport.net
Thursday 26 September 2013
Let's talk about DQ.
No, not Dairy Queen - disqualification.
There are a lot of silly rules that need to be abolished in the WWE, but I'm going to talk about the one that irks me the most. It goes a little something like this:
"If the champion loses a title match by disqualification, he/she retains the championship."
This idiotic rule makes it so the champion should never logically lose their belt unless it's in a non-DQ match (cage match, table match, etc.). Realistically, anyone fighting under these rules would simply cheat to win. Why fight and risk losing when you can leave the ring, grab a chair and end the match in ten seconds? The only two reasons I can think of are pride, and...well, no, I guess that's it. Fighting to prove a point, either to defeat someone with your own power or to show that you don't need to cheat to win, is the only reason why anyone wouldn't take the easy way out.
But could you imagine if other sports operated under this rule?
Would Floyd Mayweather ever fight a full title match if he could simply kick his opponent in the crotch and walk out still undefeated? He might -- again, to prove he could win under his own power -- but I doubt it. If the defending Super Bowl champs made it back to the Super Bowl, would they play their opponents if they could simply walk out, wait for a referee to count to 10, and win? No. The answer is no.
The rules should be changed. Sometimes, if the champion gets disqualified, they lose the title. That should always be the case -- unless there's interference. In that case, there should be an investigation or something to determine if the interfering party was in cahoots with the person who was attacked -- but I'm getting to technical here. Bottom line, I'm sick of PPV title matches ending in DQ to no result, just for a feud to be dragged out even longer. It's lazy writing, and the rule allowing it needs to DIE.
There are a lot of silly rules that need to be abolished in the WWE, but I'm going to talk about the one that irks me the most. It goes a little something like this:
"If the champion loses a title match by disqualification, he/she retains the championship."
This idiotic rule makes it so the champion should never logically lose their belt unless it's in a non-DQ match (cage match, table match, etc.). Realistically, anyone fighting under these rules would simply cheat to win. Why fight and risk losing when you can leave the ring, grab a chair and end the match in ten seconds? The only two reasons I can think of are pride, and...well, no, I guess that's it. Fighting to prove a point, either to defeat someone with your own power or to show that you don't need to cheat to win, is the only reason why anyone wouldn't take the easy way out.
But could you imagine if other sports operated under this rule?
Would Floyd Mayweather ever fight a full title match if he could simply kick his opponent in the crotch and walk out still undefeated? He might -- again, to prove he could win under his own power -- but I doubt it. If the defending Super Bowl champs made it back to the Super Bowl, would they play their opponents if they could simply walk out, wait for a referee to count to 10, and win? No. The answer is no.
The rules should be changed. Sometimes, if the champion gets disqualified, they lose the title. That should always be the case -- unless there's interference. In that case, there should be an investigation or something to determine if the interfering party was in cahoots with the person who was attacked -- but I'm getting to technical here. Bottom line, I'm sick of PPV title matches ending in DQ to no result, just for a feud to be dragged out even longer. It's lazy writing, and the rule allowing it needs to DIE.
Friday 20 September 2013
Be a STAR!
In April 2011, WWE and The Creative Coalition came together to form the Be a STAR anti-bullying initiative. Funny then how there are so many bullies in the WWE, including COO Triple H.
Now, I get that he's just playing a character. I also get that the recent bullying stories are all leading up to the "good guys" rising against Triple H's regime and emerging victorious, but something about it just doesn't sit right. For a long time I couldn't pin down why, but now I think I've finally got it.
When an actor plays a villain, he can still do charity and not be a hypocrite because he was just playing a part. The things Walter Wight does aren't the things Bryan Cranston does. However, when we're watching Walter Wight, we see Walter Wight. Not Bryan Cranston.
The same applies with the WWE. Like Breaking Bad, while the characters are on-screen, they behave as if what they're doing on television is actually happening. So, are we supposed to believe that the characters are real, or are we supposed to believe that they're just acting? The answer is both -- and that creates dissonance in the viewer.
Pro wrestling relies heavily on suspension of disbelief, the same way that an over-the-top CG-fest of a movie does, or an engrossing play on Broadway does, or an episode of Breaking Bad does. We know people aren't really getting shot and killed, just like we know people aren't really getting punched in the head 10 times while the crowd counts the blows, but the characters need to be, or at least feel, "real" in the moment. If they don't -- if they constantly remind us that they're just characters -- it doesn't work. And that's what's wrong with these bullying stories in the WWE.
It's compelling, entertaining and everything good fiction needs to be -- but because the WWE's characters are supposed to be "real", and their real-life actions don't match their in-ring actions, it creates unbalance and takes you (and by you I mean me) out of the show when they, essentially, break character. I'll keep watching because, like I said, the stories are compelling and entertaining, I just wish the characters would stay consistent given the real-world implications of their behavior.
Until next time, have a nice day and don't be a jabroni.
The same applies with the WWE. Like Breaking Bad, while the characters are on-screen, they behave as if what they're doing on television is actually happening. So, are we supposed to believe that the characters are real, or are we supposed to believe that they're just acting? The answer is both -- and that creates dissonance in the viewer.
Pro wrestling relies heavily on suspension of disbelief, the same way that an over-the-top CG-fest of a movie does, or an engrossing play on Broadway does, or an episode of Breaking Bad does. We know people aren't really getting shot and killed, just like we know people aren't really getting punched in the head 10 times while the crowd counts the blows, but the characters need to be, or at least feel, "real" in the moment. If they don't -- if they constantly remind us that they're just characters -- it doesn't work. And that's what's wrong with these bullying stories in the WWE.
It's compelling, entertaining and everything good fiction needs to be -- but because the WWE's characters are supposed to be "real", and their real-life actions don't match their in-ring actions, it creates unbalance and takes you (and by you I mean me) out of the show when they, essentially, break character. I'll keep watching because, like I said, the stories are compelling and entertaining, I just wish the characters would stay consistent given the real-world implications of their behavior.
Until next time, have a nice day and don't be a jabroni.
Saturday 14 September 2013
Night of Champions Predictions
The next WWE pay-per-view, Night of Champions, happens this Sunday.
Match 1: Divas' Championship -- Fatal 4-Way -- AJ Lee(c) vs. Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. Naomi
Natalya, Brie and Naomi are all part of a new WWE reality show called Total Divas. As you might imagine, it's filled with cattiness, relationship drama and some clearly staged moments (Hey, just like pro-wrestling!). So, those three girls will probably end up fighting amongst each other, and other cast members from Total Divas may interfere for some stupid reason to tie the match to the reality show. Fatal 4-Way matches are volatile by nature, and they always break down in some form. AJ will capitalize on the chaos and retain her Divas' Championship, laughing as she skips away.
Winner: AJ Lee (Yes, that is her as Kitana from Mortal Kombat. She's awesome like that.)
Match 2: World Heavyweight Championship -- Alberto Del Rio(c) vs. RVD w/Ricardo Rodriguez
I haven't talked about it yet, but there is a lot of bullying going on in the WWE right now. Triple H is abusing his power to threaten and fire people, Ryback is terrorizing production staff, and not too long ago Alberto Del Rio beat up his former manager, Ricardo Rodriguez, for costing him a match. So now Ricardo is with Rob Van Dam, and if the past is any indication, Ricardo will sway the match outcome. He'll either interfere and help RVD win the title, or he'll interfere and cost him the title. I'm leaning toward winning him the title. There's no telling exactly how long RVD will be with the WWE, so a short title run would be appropriate for the future hall-of-famer, and with all the bullying going on it'd be nice to see someone get their comeuppance. ADR will lose to RVD thanks to RR.
Winner by Interference: Rob Van Dam
Match 3: WWE Championship -- Randy Orton(c) vs. Daniel Bryan
The main event. The hook. The headline. This is the match a lot of WWE fans are talking about. It's bound to be a fantastic match. As I mentioned in my very first post, Daniel Bryan is amazing in the the ring, and while Orton can be somewhat boring on the microphone, he's been electric since he made his heel turn. Orton is awesome as a villain, and people can't get enough of Bryan, so the dynamic here is very compelling. There's little that can go wrong during a match like this.
The problem will likely be the ending.
Triple H has been using a faction called The Shield to enforce his regime, and HHH does not want Daniel Bryan to be WWE champion. Therefore, the match will probably end with interference from The Shield, drawing out the feud for another month or so. Daniel Bryan NEEDS to stay in the title picture, especially since main eventers John Cena and Sheamus are injured, so it makes sense to prolong the rivalry between him and Orton. However, it also makes this pay-per-view somewhat predictable. I expect they will fight in a cage or No DQ match of some sort so the inevitable Shield appearance doesn't automatically end the match, but not until October or November. Still, it will be an incredible match. Look forward to a few "This is awesome!" chants from the crowd in Detroit.
Friday 6 September 2013
Rising Starlettes
Last night on NXT, the WWE's developmental program (think AHL vs NHL), I got a different sort of Divas action than I was expecting. See, when it comes to women's wrestling in the WWE, the best matches aren't on Raw or Smackdown, they're on the developmental show, NXT. In the PG era of pro-wrestling, where we are currently very much ensconced, the days of Bra and Panties matches are (sadly) gone, meaning if women's wrestling is to be entertaining, it now needs to actually be good. Fortunately there are some truly talented women on NXT, like...Paige (center), Summer Rae (left) and Emma (right).
Unfortunately we didn't get to see any of them in the ring last night.
What we did get was a tag-team bout in which Bayley, a childlike woman who loves hugging her opponents, and Charlotte, the daughter of WWE legend Ric Flair, took on Alicia Fox and Aksana, two women who used to be on the main roster but were bumped down to NXT. Overall the talent in the ring wasn't top-notched, but although the moves were sloppy, the action was slow, and the ending was yet another roll-up pin -- seriously, women finish more matches with roll-ups than finishers -- Bayley and Charlotte demonstrated why they may be future contenders.
Bayley has grown into her role as a naive, sickly-sweet dork, and her move-set is starting to reflect her character. In particular, she delivered a pretty impressive belly-to-belly suplex after -- what else -- hugging her opponent. So she's started using hugs as a weapon. Like a bear. Or a passive-aggressive ex. Bayley's mannerisms also aren't so jittery anymore, and she comes off as genuinely innocent and goofy -- which could lead into some good character-driven feuds.
Charlotte already has a big head-start. Being the daughter of Ric Flair would have been enough to give her an edge, but she's very athletic and utilizes her gymnastics background well, using those skills to perform her relatively complex maneuvers. It's too early to read her fortune, as she's only wrestled on-camera less than ten times, but she has the physical ability to be spectacular. Hopefully she works hard and doesn't just coast off of her father's fame.
So those are two Divas to watch out for in the coming months. Maybe I'll get into Paige, Summer Rae and Emma next week -- but regardless, the future of the Diva's division looks bright.
Have a nice day. And don't be a jabroni.
(Photo sources: wwe.com, diva-dirt.com, wrestlingrumors.net)
Unfortunately we didn't get to see any of them in the ring last night.
What we did get was a tag-team bout in which Bayley, a childlike woman who loves hugging her opponents, and Charlotte, the daughter of WWE legend Ric Flair, took on Alicia Fox and Aksana, two women who used to be on the main roster but were bumped down to NXT. Overall the talent in the ring wasn't top-notched, but although the moves were sloppy, the action was slow, and the ending was yet another roll-up pin -- seriously, women finish more matches with roll-ups than finishers -- Bayley and Charlotte demonstrated why they may be future contenders.
Bayley has grown into her role as a naive, sickly-sweet dork, and her move-set is starting to reflect her character. In particular, she delivered a pretty impressive belly-to-belly suplex after -- what else -- hugging her opponent. So she's started using hugs as a weapon. Like a bear. Or a passive-aggressive ex. Bayley's mannerisms also aren't so jittery anymore, and she comes off as genuinely innocent and goofy -- which could lead into some good character-driven feuds.
Charlotte already has a big head-start. Being the daughter of Ric Flair would have been enough to give her an edge, but she's very athletic and utilizes her gymnastics background well, using those skills to perform her relatively complex maneuvers. It's too early to read her fortune, as she's only wrestled on-camera less than ten times, but she has the physical ability to be spectacular. Hopefully she works hard and doesn't just coast off of her father's fame.
So those are two Divas to watch out for in the coming months. Maybe I'll get into Paige, Summer Rae and Emma next week -- but regardless, the future of the Diva's division looks bright.
Have a nice day. And don't be a jabroni.
(Photo sources: wwe.com, diva-dirt.com, wrestlingrumors.net)
Friday 30 August 2013
My first post, eh?
For my first post, I should probably talk about what every member of the WWE Universe is talking about: Daniel Bryan. In the ring, the man is more electric than lightning and brings twice as much energy and excitement. Every match he has is phenomenal, as he works off of his opponent's style and pace so well, and every week he seems to bring something new to moves we've seen performed hundreds of times. Generic slams or routine attacks from other superstars have rarely looked more powerful or damaging when Daniel Bryan sells them, and he frequently pulls out attacks we never see him do--such as the flip-over powerbomb he delivered to Wade Barrett from the top rope during their cage match last week on Smackdown.
For those who haven't seen Daniel Bryan perform recently, imagine a compact bumper car rampaging around the ring, jarring people with thrilling impact and technical, sometimes breathtaking maneuvers.
If it sounds like I'm gushing, I am, but bring up Daniel Bryan and I'm like a popped water balloon. I could talk about the guy for hours, but I'm going to keep this brief, because everyone who watches WWE programming already saw his fantastic promos with John Cena before Summerslam, is aware of his talents on the mic and in the ring, and probably enjoys him as much as I do--but with John Cena and Shaemus injured for the next half-year or so, and with Daniel Bryan being the biggest face right now next to maybe CM Punk, he'll be a major topic of discussion in the future, especially if they keep putting him in gauntlet matches. He's had two in the last few months! At this point I'm expecting them to just have Daniel Bryan fight the whole roster, starting with NXT jobbers and moving up to main event guys by the end of the show. Hey, I would watch it. It would probably be an amazing episode, and I don't doubt that Daniel Bryan could pull it off.
I will say that if you don't watch wrestling and you're reading this, DVR an episode of Raw, fast-forward to a match with Daniel Bryan in it, and see what the fuss is all about. If you're not thoroughly entertained by his energetic performance, comment and tell me why.
I'll be sure to tell you why you're wrong.
For those who haven't seen Daniel Bryan perform recently, imagine a compact bumper car rampaging around the ring, jarring people with thrilling impact and technical, sometimes breathtaking maneuvers.
If it sounds like I'm gushing, I am, but bring up Daniel Bryan and I'm like a popped water balloon. I could talk about the guy for hours, but I'm going to keep this brief, because everyone who watches WWE programming already saw his fantastic promos with John Cena before Summerslam, is aware of his talents on the mic and in the ring, and probably enjoys him as much as I do--but with John Cena and Shaemus injured for the next half-year or so, and with Daniel Bryan being the biggest face right now next to maybe CM Punk, he'll be a major topic of discussion in the future, especially if they keep putting him in gauntlet matches. He's had two in the last few months! At this point I'm expecting them to just have Daniel Bryan fight the whole roster, starting with NXT jobbers and moving up to main event guys by the end of the show. Hey, I would watch it. It would probably be an amazing episode, and I don't doubt that Daniel Bryan could pull it off.
I will say that if you don't watch wrestling and you're reading this, DVR an episode of Raw, fast-forward to a match with Daniel Bryan in it, and see what the fuss is all about. If you're not thoroughly entertained by his energetic performance, comment and tell me why.
I'll be sure to tell you why you're wrong.
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