Let's talk about DQ.

No, not Dairy Queen - disqualification.

There are a lot of silly rules that need to be abolished in the WWE, but I'm going to talk about the one that irks me the most. It goes a little something like this:

"If the champion loses a title match by disqualification, he/she retains the championship."

This idiotic rule makes it so the champion should never logically lose their belt unless it's in a non-DQ match (cage match, table match, etc.). Realistically, anyone fighting under these rules would simply cheat to win. Why fight and risk losing when you can leave the ring, grab a chair and end the match in ten seconds? The only two reasons I can think of are pride, and...well, no, I guess that's it. Fighting to prove a point, either to defeat someone with your own power or to show that you don't need to cheat to win, is the only reason why anyone wouldn't take the easy way out.

But could you imagine if other sports operated under this rule?

Would Floyd Mayweather ever fight a full title match if he could simply kick his opponent in the crotch and walk out still undefeated? He might -- again, to prove he could win under his own power -- but I doubt it. If the defending Super Bowl champs made it back to the Super Bowl, would they play their opponents if they could simply walk out, wait for a referee to count to 10, and win? No. The answer is no.

The rules should be changed. Sometimes, if the champion gets disqualified, they lose the title. That should always be the case -- unless there's interference. In that case, there should be an investigation or something to determine if the interfering party was in cahoots with the person who was attacked -- but I'm getting to technical here. Bottom line, I'm sick of PPV title matches ending in DQ to no result, just for a feud to be dragged out even longer. It's lazy writing, and the rule allowing it needs to DIE.

Be a STAR!

In April 2011, WWE and The Creative Coalition came together to form the Be a STAR anti-bullying initiative. Funny then how there are so many bullies in the WWE, including COO Triple H.

Now, I get that he's just playing a character. I also get that the recent bullying stories are all leading up to the "good guys" rising against Triple H's regime and emerging victorious, but something about it just doesn't sit right. For a long time I couldn't pin down why, but now I think I've finally got it.

When an actor plays a villain, he can still do charity and not be a hypocrite because he was just playing a part. The things Walter Wight does aren't the things Bryan Cranston does. However, when we're watching Walter Wight, we see Walter Wight. Not Bryan Cranston.

The same applies with the WWE. Like Breaking Bad, while the characters are on-screen, they behave as if what they're doing on television is actually happening. So, are we supposed to believe that the characters are real, or are we supposed to believe that they're just acting? The answer is both -- and that creates dissonance in the viewer.

Pro wrestling relies heavily on suspension of disbelief, the same way that an over-the-top CG-fest of a movie does, or an engrossing play on Broadway does, or an episode of Breaking Bad does. We know people aren't really getting shot and killed, just like we know people aren't really getting punched in the head 10 times while the crowd counts the blows, but the characters need to be, or at least feel, "real" in the moment. If they don't -- if they constantly remind us that they're just characters -- it doesn't work. And that's what's wrong with these bullying stories in the WWE.

It's compelling, entertaining and everything good fiction needs to be -- but because the WWE's characters are supposed to be "real", and their real-life actions don't match their in-ring actions, it creates unbalance and takes you (and by you I mean me) out of the show when they, essentially, break character. I'll keep watching because, like I said, the stories are compelling and entertaining, I just wish the characters would stay consistent given the real-world implications of their behavior.

Until next time, have a nice day and don't be a jabroni.   

Night of Champions Predictions

The next WWE pay-per-view, Night of Champions, happens this Sunday.

Night of Champions is an event where every belt is supposed to be on the line, though this year the Intercontinental and Tag Team Championships aren't acknowledged -- though those belts are rarely acknowledge these days. There are one or two pay-per-views every year that aren't that spectacular, and I believe this one will be a dud, but I'll make my predictions anyway. Although I'd like to talk about CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman, I won't go over every match -- just three major championship bouts -- so here we go.

Match 1: Divas' Championship -- Fatal 4-Way -- AJ Lee(c) vs. Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. Naomi

Natalya, Brie and Naomi are all part of a new WWE reality show called Total Divas. As you might imagine, it's filled with cattiness, relationship drama and some clearly staged moments (Hey, just like pro-wrestling!). So, those three girls will probably end up fighting amongst each other, and other cast members from Total Divas may interfere for some stupid reason to tie the match to the reality show. Fatal 4-Way matches are volatile by nature, and they always break down in some form. AJ will capitalize on the chaos and retain her Divas' Championship, laughing as she skips away.

Winner: AJ Lee (Yes, that is her as Kitana from Mortal Kombat. She's awesome like that.)


Match 2: World Heavyweight Championship -- Alberto Del Rio(c) vs. RVD w/Ricardo Rodriguez

I haven't talked about it yet, but there is a lot of bullying going on in the WWE right now. Triple H is abusing his power to threaten and fire people, Ryback is terrorizing production staff, and not too long ago Alberto Del Rio beat up his former manager, Ricardo Rodriguez, for costing him a match. So now Ricardo is with Rob Van Dam, and if the past is any indication, Ricardo will sway the match outcome. He'll either interfere and help RVD win the title, or he'll interfere and cost him the title. I'm leaning toward winning him the title. There's no telling exactly how long RVD will be with the WWE, so a short title run would be appropriate for the future hall-of-famer, and with all the bullying going on it'd be nice to see someone get their comeuppance. ADR will lose to RVD thanks to RR.

Winner by Interference: Rob Van Dam

Match 3: WWE Championship -- Randy Orton(c) vs. Daniel Bryan

The main event. The hook. The headline. This is the match a lot of WWE fans are talking about. It's bound to be a fantastic match. As I mentioned in my very first post, Daniel Bryan is amazing in the the ring, and while Orton can be somewhat boring on the microphone, he's been electric since he made his heel turn. Orton is awesome as a villain, and people can't get enough of Bryan, so the dynamic here is very compelling. There's little that can go wrong during a match like this.

The problem will likely be the ending.

Triple H has been using a faction called The Shield to enforce his regime, and HHH does not want Daniel Bryan to be WWE champion. Therefore, the match will probably end with interference from The Shield, drawing out the feud for another month or so. Daniel Bryan NEEDS to stay in the title picture, especially since main eventers John Cena and Sheamus are injured, so it makes sense to prolong the rivalry between him and Orton. However, it also makes this pay-per-view somewhat predictable. I expect they will fight in a cage or No DQ match of some sort so the inevitable Shield appearance doesn't automatically end the match, but not until October or November. Still, it will be an incredible match. Look forward to a few "This is awesome!" chants from the crowd in Detroit.

Winner by disqualification, and still WWE Champion: Randy Orton!

Rising Starlettes

Last night on NXT, the WWE's developmental program (think AHL vs NHL), I got a different sort of Divas action than I was expecting. See, when it comes to women's wrestling in the WWE, the best matches aren't on Raw or Smackdown, they're on the developmental show, NXT. In the PG era of pro-wrestling, where we are currently very much ensconced, the days of Bra and Panties matches are (sadly) gone, meaning if women's wrestling is to be entertaining, it now needs to actually be good. Fortunately there are some truly talented women on NXT, like...Paige (center), Summer Rae (left) and Emma (right).

Unfortunately we didn't get to see any of them in the ring last night.

What we did get was a tag-team bout in which Bayley, a childlike woman who loves hugging her opponents, and Charlotte, the daughter of WWE legend Ric Flair, took on Alicia Fox and Aksana, two women who used to be on the main roster but were bumped down to NXT. Overall the talent in the ring wasn't top-notched, but although the moves were sloppy, the action was slow, and the ending was yet another roll-up pin -- seriously, women finish more matches with roll-ups than finishers -- Bayley and Charlotte demonstrated why they may be future contenders.

Bayley has grown into her role as a naive, sickly-sweet dork, and her move-set is starting to reflect her character. In particular, she delivered a pretty impressive belly-to-belly suplex after -- what else -- hugging her opponent. So she's started using hugs as a weapon. Like a bear. Or a passive-aggressive ex. Bayley's mannerisms also aren't so jittery anymore, and she comes off as genuinely innocent and goofy -- which could lead into some good character-driven feuds.

Charlotte already has a big head-start. Being the daughter of Ric Flair would have been enough to give her an edge, but she's very athletic and utilizes her gymnastics background well, using those skills to perform her relatively complex maneuvers. It's too early to read her fortune, as she's only wrestled on-camera less than ten times, but she has the physical ability to be spectacular. Hopefully she works hard and doesn't just coast off of her father's fame.

So those are two Divas to watch out for in the coming months. Maybe I'll get into Paige, Summer Rae and Emma next week -- but regardless, the future of the Diva's division looks bright.

Have a nice day. And don't be a jabroni.

(Photo sources: wwe.com, diva-dirt.com, wrestlingrumors.net)